


Insomnia

by orochiis



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Grieving, Revelations path
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 14:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18573667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orochiis/pseuds/orochiis
Summary: Castle Shirasagi is deathly silent at night, but somehow, Azura can’t find it in herself to sleep.





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> I see a lot of people talking about this ship on twitter (even though it only has like 11 fics here D:) so I read their supports and I love them??? Anyway, this is a Revelations canon, and Azura becomes queen of Valla and not Corrin because I love Corrin, but this is what Azura deserves. This is also sorta a rewrite of their S-Support because it feels very birthright only to me???? So.
> 
> All the zines I've ever done are shaking bc this is the exact sort of thing I write for zines but this is good.

Castle Shirasagi is deathly silent at night, but somehow, Azura can’t find it in herself to sleep. No matter how hard she tries, when she closes her eyes, all she can see is the looming form of Anankos, and her eyes fly open again. The image is still there, though- nothing can erase that. She’s well aware that’s how trauma works- gods knows she’s gone through enough in her years on this earth.

She takes to wandering the halls. The night dress she wears offers little protection from the cold, she finds once she makes her way towards the gardens, and it’s certainly not appropriate for the queen of Valla to be wandering round the castle not dressed properly, but no one is around at this time of night to see her anyway.

It’s a little strange, being back in the castle after all this time. It feels like only yesterday she met Corrin, and ran off into the sunset with her and Jakob on what ended up being such a long journey. Being without Corrin now is strange too- even though the two have a plan, along with Xander and Ryoma, to unite the kingdoms finally, Azura misses her cousin more than she could ever have imagined.

She’ll take on Hoshido, Azura decided, because the people there know her. Corrin will take Nohr. Both countries hate them more or less equally- they were branded as traitors for so long- but at least this way, both the Vallite born citizens can be of some use, now that their own kingdom is long gone, the portals all sealed with magic.

The new Valla, on the surface, is still under construction. Nohr and Hoshido have paid for a castle to be built, even with their own countries struggling financially from the fighting that has raged for decades. Azura will move there, as queen, when everything is ready. For now, she helps here, with peace treaties and logistics and building a good reputation in Hoshido for herself and Corrin.

Azura can’t bring herself to go out to the lake. It would be too tempting to go into the freezing water and see if she can go back home. It’s been raining recently, too, and her feet would get wet and the bottom of her nightgown would get muddy. So she hovers by the sliding door, looking over the still waters. She’s left with her thoughts and the cold night air.

The floor creaks behind her, an ungodly sound, and if she weren’t so far away from everyone’s sleeping quarters she’d assume everyone was now awake. But not everyone is awake- just Takumi, who hovers in the hallway like a ghost. Azura crosses her arms further across her chest- of all the people to disturb her midnight wander around the castle, it just _had_ to be Takumi.

But he’s not really awake, she observes, just sleep walking. He mumbles quietly as he walks, unsteady on his feet, not walking at all in a straight line. He walks right past her and the open door, and she watches him, silently, as he goes. He rounds the corner, and Azura decides that perhaps she should head back to her room- the castle is not as quiet as she thinks.

* * *

Curiosity gets the better of Azura the next night, when she’s been failing to sleep for a few hours. The clock ticks on, closer and closer towards morning, and finally, she slips out from under the covers. Tonight, she takes with her a cloak to ward off the chill. She sneaks out of her room, not that there’s anything wrong with not being in bed in the wee hours of the morning, and walks down the corridor. She has to pass Takumi’s room on the way, and when she pauses outside the closed door, she can hear his gentle snoring from inside.

Good.

She continues on down the hall, and stands by the door once more. The wind outside isn’t as cold today, or maybe it’s just the fact that she’s wearing another layer. Tonight, she sits on the floor, with her feet on the damp grass outside, her skirts hiked up to prevent them getting dirty. It grounds her, she thinks. She’s always been an outdoor person, even if not always by choice. Here, the coldness of her feet is a reminder that she’s here, on this earth, in Hoshido, in Castle Shirasagi, and she’s okay.

When she goes back to her room, she can get to sleep quickly, even if she’s left damp foot prints from the garden to her room.

* * *

For a few nights, Azura manages to sleep. Not particularly well- it takes her a while to get over, and she always wakes far earlier than she would like, startled by the contents of her dreams. But it’s a few hours nonetheless, and for once, she doesn’t feel completely exhausted.

Three days of decent sleep is all she gets before the tiniest noise wakes her in the middle of the night. Squinting at the clock, she can make out that it’s half past two, and decides that she may as well get up and go for a walk- there’s no way she’s going to fall asleep again now. She wraps her robe around her and quietly slides her door open. At the end of the corridor, she can see Takumi wandering around too- though whether or not he’s awake is another matter.

Azura decides to follow him. Since seeing him the first time, he’s been on her mind constantly. Where does he wander to? Does he realise he sleep walks? She has to dash to keep up with him- the pace he sets is rather fast for someone that isn’t awake. But she stays a few steps behind him, following.

He’s mumbling, once again, though tonight he seems to be walking in a more controlled way. Nothing he says she can make out, just grunts and murmurs every now and again. They pass the garden, and round the corner, and Takumi keeps walking. He keeps going, and keeps going, towards the library, where suddenly, he falls. Without a second thought, Azura rushes towards him and catches him, helping him to the ground gently. Once he’s sitting, she scoots round him so she’s facing him, and is more than a little surprised to see him blinking at her.

“Azura?”

“Takumi,” she breathes, unsure of what to say to him.

“Why are _you_ here?”

“I heard you leaving,” she tells him, her voice quiet, as if she’d wake someone up if she spoke above a whisper. “So I decided to follow you.”

“Gods, I’m sorry for waking you. But you don’t have to worry about me.”

“You were sleepwalking. And talking under your breath.”

“This happens all the time,” he admits. “Usually, I fall somewhere around here. Ryoma used to follow me, but now one of his retainers will come and find me if I’m not in my room. Then Ryoma will wake me in the morning.”

“Hence why you two are always last to breakfast?”

“He tells people we were out training.” Takumi pauses, staring down at his hands. “Now that you know, please don’t tell anyone else. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“I would not dream of it.”

Takumi sighs, and moves towards the wall, sitting against it rather than in the middle of the hall. Azura stares at him as he moves. Really, she should go back to her quarters. She’s well aware of this. But instead, she moves beside him. His hair is down, for once, something that she’s wholly unused to seeing. He gathers it over one shoulder, undoing the knots.

“If it is not rude of me to ask... what were you dreaming of?” Azura asks, glancing at Takumi out of the corner of her eye. He’s silent for a moment, as if deciding whether or not he can trust her to keep his secret.

“My mother,” he answers. “I dream about her death all the time.”

“Oh, Takumi...”

This is a concept that Azura is all too familiar with. Witnessing your mother’s death is something no one could forget. Both Nohr and Hoshido brought deaths of her closest family members- Arete passing on her secrets, and Mikoto dying at the hands of the mysterious Vallite soldier. So Azura knows, and understands, and Takumi doesn’t need to explain himself. He knows that.

“They’re less frequent,” he says. “Not every night. I used to get the nightmares every night without fail, and when I woke up, it’d reset, and if I managed to fall asleep again, I’d have another one.”

“You do not have to get over her,” muses Azura, tangling her fingers in knots. “You are allowed to feel sad forever. But as long as you are able to get on with your life, I think... I think you will be okay. And the nightmares receding sounds like a good start to me.”

“You always were so wise, Azura.” He places one hand over her clasped hands, and she jumps a little.

He’s moving dangerously close to a territory that Azura has closed herself off from for years. His eyes are soft, and she can feel panic rising in her throat. Takumi has always been so important to her, but she can’t let herself get this close to him. Even if-

No, there’s no point in thinking like that.

“I do miss her,” Takumi says. “I’ve lost two mothers, and a father, and countless friends. I miss them all. And I know Sakura, and Hinoka, and Ryoma are the same, but I don’t feel like I can talk about it with them. They’re grieving too.”

“You... you are always welcome to talk about your feelings with me. I know we are not related, and it may be better to speak on such a matter with your siblings, but...” she trails off, not sure where to go from here.

“To be able to speak truthfully is all I want,” he murmurs.

He’s gotten a lot closer, she realises. It’s not unwanted, this attention, but it scares her, because there are so many opportunities to mess up. She can feel Takumi’s breath against her skin. In a moment of madness, she leans in and ever so gently presses her lips to his. She half expects him to pull away from her, but he instead kisses back insistently. It is her, then, that moves away, more shocked than anything else. It was a stupid idea, and so she moves to get up.

“Wait!” Takumi says, reaching out to grab her hand. “Don’t go.”

“I am sorry,” she gasps, one hand covering her mouth.

“Azura.” He gets to his feet, standing in front of her. “Why did you follow me out here?”

“I was worried,” she answers, quickly defending herself. “You have passed me before when you have been wandering, when I have not been able to sleep. I worry about you, because until now, I did not know why you had these nightmares that caused you to move in your sleep.” She keeps her eyes to the floor, ashamed to look at him.

“I need to tell you something. I know you force this role of an elder sister for me upon yourself, just as you do for Sakura, and you fall into the younger sister role for Ryoma and Hinoka too. But... I never wanted you as a sister. When you first came here, we were all so much younger. I already had two sisters. I didn’t _need_ another one. And I don’t think it’s just me that thought that,” he adds with a laugh. “You were treated so badly. But... it’s embarrassing for me to admit this, so listen, okay? I have been in love with you since I first met you.”

“Takumi!”

“And I’m sorry that I have to admit this now, because this is not at all how I imagined this going.”

“I always wanted to be close,” Azura whispers, lifting her head up. “I thought, being a friend, or a sister, or whatever you needed me to be would be enough. But... I have always wanted... no, yearned, for something more. I have so desperately wished for you to reciprocate my feelings, Takumi.” She manages a smile when she sees how the glee on Takumi’s face grows with every one of her words.

“Are you serious?”

“Do you think I would joke about something like this?”

“I can’t believe that we’ve been feeling the same way all this time...we were meant to be together.”

“Takumi...”

“Can I... can I kiss you again?” He murmurs, in the same tone as before. Mutely, she nods. “I need you to close your eyes for a second...”

Azura does as she’s told, and she feels Takumi tilt her chin up before Takumi kisses her, this time a lot deeper, a lot less shy than before. He pulls her in close to him as she wraps her arms around his neck. The corridor is silent aside from crickets chirping outside, and Azura’s sigh when he breaks the kiss.

“I know this changes things for us. For... everyone, I suppose,” he points out.

“It need not. I know you have your duties here, but I will be going to the new Valla. I-“

“I’m coming with you!”

“Takumi-“

“Azura, one third of the population of the continent is moving to Valla. There’s no reason why I can’t be one of those. And I can be your... advisor. Or, y’know, whatever role you think would be best for me.”

“...consort?” Azura suggests, and Takumi laughs.

“If that is what you wish,” he agrees. He bends down, on one knee, and presses a kiss to the back of her hand. “Your highness.”

“Do not bow to me, Takumi. You are not below me.” He gets to his feet, and instead takes her hand. They begin to walk back, towards their respective rooms, still talking in hushed whispers.

“This whole thing would be a lot more romantic if we both weren’t in our nightclothes,” Takumi points out.

“I am fairly sure that there are many romances that have started in far more peculiar situations than this.”

“I could have proposed to you on the battlefield. I imagine that wouldn’t have gone down so well.”

“I imagine I still would have said yes,” Azura says, with a smile.

“Are you going to go back to sleep?”

“I hope so. Perhaps, my mind will be a little more at ease, now that I do not have to worry about the burden of these feelings I carry for you.”

“Tonight, we will both be able to sleep easier. I will take care of you from now on.”

“And I you. I... I love you, Takumi.”

“I love you too.”

Azura returns to her room, and pays little heed to the clock on the wall, still ticking away, ever closer to morning. Under the covers, she rolls over towards the wall, and closes her eyes, and lets sleep take her. And tonight, she sleeps right through to morning, and sits with Takumi at breakfast, with shy smiles on both their faces, despite how bold they had been the night before. And she realises- it doesn’t matter if not all of Hoshido likes her. One person having confidence in her is all she needs to know that she’s doing the right thing.


End file.
